Food Fight

Our family has a tradition of asking people to donate money on our birthdays, rather than giving presents. Our kids have grown up doing this, and each year, they get to research and decide where they want their money to go. Last year, Nathanael collected 190.00 at his birthday party and donated it to Food Fight (see blog entry 6/15/10), an organization started by high school students in our community (foodfightforhunger.com). In their own words, "Food Fight's mission is to harness the potential of high school students in order to eradicate hunger across the world." This past week, they packed meals at six of our local area high schools. These students have packed over 600K meals in the past 3 years!

We wanted to make sure Nathanael didn't just throw money to something, but actually had a hands-on experience with it. Since they were packing meals this week, we pulled him for part of the school day today so he could participate. He saw with his own eyes the impact his donation made. More than that though, the hope was that in seeing role models of students dedicated to changing the world, he would begin to see his own potential to make a difference, in whatever way he feels led to. Pretty good reason I think to play hooky.

Disney Reflections

I have to admit, I never wanted to be that family that took a vacation to disney world. It just seemed so stereotypical, so cliche, so overdone, so obvious. But after returning from disney world this past spring break, I have to swallow my pride and admit that I was totally and completely wrong. Disney truly was a magical and joyous time for our family. These were my top 3 memories of the week.

Bonding through Suffering
It rained 3 out of the 5 days we were there. Not just a sprinkling of rain, or on-and-off-again rain. These were torrential, unrelenting storms, complete with lightning and thunder and winds that made the raindrops hit us horizontally. But our family put on the ponchos and waded through disney nonetheless, and our kids got an unexpectedly awesome life lesson. They got to experience that life is imperfect and full of disappointments and difficulties, but attitude and perspective can get you through a whole lot. It was neat to see them processing how to turn grumbling into thankfulness. As a family, we grew tighter as we saw the storms as our common adversary. Some of my fondest moments were when we were huddled together in the downpour, clinging to each other, and laughing in the rain.

Perfect Timing for the Princess
Selah is at that perfect stage of being all things princess. It was truly a magical time for her. She had her hair done by the fairy godmother in Cinderella's castle. She got to wear her dresses and have all the workers and waiters refer to her as princess. She got to meet all the characters that she adores. Every pond we passed by, Selah would stop and whisper, "Ariel, I'm here. Are you swimming in the sea?" Call me a sentimental whack job, but I got teary-eyed every time I saw her light up. Her joy was my joy.

Priceless Family Memories
At the end of the day though, it really wasn't Disney that was so magical. It was our family genuinely enjoying being with each other that made it pretty freaking awesome. For all our lives, we will have this memory together. Long after we forget about the rain, the rides, the characters, the all you can eat buffets (for my boys), we will remember the feeling of family. Nothing sweeter than watching my boys walking around with their arms around each other, or John holding Selah while she rested her head on his shoulder in complete bliss. You can't put a price on that.

I'll end it with this recap from my nine year old.

Unexpected Birthday

I expected to go out for a lovely breakfast date with John while the kids were at school. I expected to go out for a delicious family dinner so I wouldn't have to cook or clean. I expected to spend some of the day selfishly doing the things I love, like working out, shopping, hanging with girlfriends, showering in peace.

What I unexpectedly got for my birthday was the motherload of snow, which had trapped all of us in the house. But in this change of plan came some unexpected awesomeness.

John cooked all day, including a birthday cake. So much better than any restaurant because I know for sure no chef loves me like he loves me.

My kids stepped up and tried to keep things clean. I loved watching their effort, even if the actual result was less than stellar.
Most of all, even though I wanted some time to myself to do whatever I wanted, I was completely and totally surrounded by my family. As I felt my grumbling thoughts starting to rise up within me, my mom called. In that phone call, it struck me that it has probably been about 15 years since the last birthday we were physically together. Which made me think that in another 15 years, it will be very likely that I won't be physically spending my birthday with my kids anymore. These times are precious and numbered and pretty freaking awesome.

Sometimes the unexpected is so much better. It catches you off guard. It helps you see the routine of life in a new light. Besides, I also got some pretty amazing gifts. Look at the game my third guy made me as a present. Don't have a clue what the rules are to this game. I don't think he does either. But it doesn't really matter, does it.

Ridiculous Gifts

Our children woke up excited and eager to see what wondrous treasures awaited them on Christmas morning. This made me think about the different types of gifts that are given, especially this time of year. There are gifts of practicality, like a new pair of shoes or clothes. There are gifts of pure pleasure, like that much wanted video game, or that precious new baby doll. There are gifts for the whole family to enjoy, like a weekend away, or a new pet to love. And then there are those utterly ridiculous, impractical, going to end up in the garbage in a few weeks type of gifts. But the pleasure that is derived for that brief moment in time from such gifts far outweigh the ridiculousness of the item.

We had one of those in the present pile. Selah loved the movie, "Tangled." So much so that she's watched it three times already, and would go again if I would let her. So when we saw this monstrosity, we threw our better judgement out the door and bought it. Looks harmless enough in the box. Notice how somewhat normal it looks on the little girl on the cover of the box.

Now look at it on Selah. Sigh. Not only does she look crazy, but there is 2 feet long shiny blonde hair all over my floor. On her clothes. On my clothes. On the furniture. Everywhere. But she's deliriously happy, so I can live with it.

Overlooked moments

One of my friends made a video titled "those simple moments." It was his way of showing the beauty that exists in the simple, ordinary moments of life. I love that reminder and that challenge...to seek for the special in the mundane, because it's always there if you look carefully enough.


overlooked // those simple moments from Chris & Oliver Cinema on Vimeo.


So along that vein, I wanted to think about some of the overlooked moments of this past year for me.

Moments like....

When a smile changed from the polite one exchanged among acquaintances and strangers, to one exchanged among friends. That smile often looks the same, but it comes down to the eyes. A smile among friends extends all the way up to the eyes. There is a sparkle, a warmth, an authenticity that sets it apart. I feel so privileged to have witnessed that smile in many of the relationships I've forged this year.

When that smile doesn't change from old friends. Moving took away the convenience of seeing many of my old friends on a daily basis. But it's pretty amazing when time and distance doesn't negate the strength of a friendship.

When a finger is where it should be. When our kids were born, we would joke that all was good because we counted all ten fingers and toes. Never has that been more true for me than this year. After having my youngest lose a part of her finger, and then have it reattached back on, I often just stare at her hand and marvel at how thankful I am for her finger.

When a soccer goal was made. My oldest has been playing soccer since he was five. Every year, we've watched him work hard, be a good team player, and have a good attitude. And every year, we've watched him not score a goal. He's assisted in plenty of goals, but never had the chance to put one in himself. We always tell him that there are flashy people, and solid people. And while flash gets a lot of attention, it's the solid that has longevity. After four years and countless times of being solid, it was a beautiful moment to see him get a bit of flash this year.

When notes become music. This year, our oldest two boys have started the transition from just playing notes or tapping drum beats to truly making music. Music that not only sounds "correct," but also comes from the soul. My goal of being the next jonas bros, hanson, or partridge family (depending on what generation you are) is halfway there.

When laughter rings out in the house. For all the yelling, whining, and crying that happens in our household (and that's just me), I love that laughter is still the predominant sound of our family.

So take a moment and look for those special moments hidden in the ordinary routine of life. What are some of yours from the past year?

More things no one told me about motherhood

When my day began yesterday, I never thought that it would end with me sitting in an ER room holding a tupperware filled with ice and part of my daughter's finger.

A few hours earlier, we were getting ready to celebrate my third guy's birthday. Our older two were out at their activities, so our plan was to take the younger two to dinner. As John and I were getting things ready, we told the kids to get their shoes on and get in the car, as they have done time and time again. I heard them shuffle out the mud room, and the door to the garage slamming shut. I heard Selah screaming and went quickly to the door assuming that they were fighting, or she had fallen, or some ordinary circumstance like that. Instead, when I opened the door, I saw her sitting on the step holding her hand with blood dripping down all over the floor. All I saw was blood, at which point my scream brought John over. Getting into doctor mode, he examined her hand to see where the blood was coming from when he shouted, "It's her finger. Her finger is cut off!" As he quickly took her to the car, I ran and got a tupperware, filled it with ice, and placed the top of her right ring finger into it, and off to the ER we went.

No one told me that this was part of my job description as a mom. No one told me that I would have to stay calm and focused when all I wanted to do was scream my flipping head off. No one told me that I would have to swallow my own tears so I could be busy wiping my child's. No one told me that I would have to find a way to tell stories and sing songs to distract her from the pain when the last thing I wanted to do was tell stories and sing songs.

No one told me that I would also have to simultaneously comfort my son who was crying in the corner of the ER room because he was spending his birthday with no dinner, no cake, and the knowledge that he had accidentally cut off his sister's finger. To make matters worse, a friend came and picked him up from the ER and bought him a happy meal for his dinner. When he opened his happy meal, there was no toy in the box. Happy birthday bud.

Long story short, they took her to the OR and reattached her finger. They hope that because she is so young, and children are amazingly resilient, the reattachment will be successful and all will be well in time. For now, her finger is tightly wrapped up with her arm in a sling, and we will need to protect and coddle that hand like a newborn baby for a few weeks. As horrible as this all was, it could have been worse. It was just the top of one finger, and in the grand scheme of things, not the end of the world. She got up this morning and started pirouetting around with her gimp hand, so we have high hopes that she will be just fine.

We also broke all the rules and ate Gabriel's birthday cake for breakfast before school today. Selah will get to watch as many of her videos as she wants, and eat as much of her halloween candy that she desires. That's also part of the job description of moms. I get to pick when we can break the rules, and no time more appropriate than today.

Army of Moms

Yesterday, we took our daughter to the American Girl store. Somehow, we ended up on their mailing list and have been flooded with catalog after catalog every few months for the past year. Sometimes I'm quick enough to toss it into recycling before she notices it, but most times, she clings to those catalogs and points out incessantly which ones she likes. Finally, after months of her puppy dog eyes and (how do I put this) "assertive communication," we gave in and decided to get her the bitty baby. After fighting through weekend traffic and crowds, we made our way there and walked out with the newest member of our family, baby Maggie, who she also nicknamed Shaggy. In spite of all the sacrifices it took to get it for her, the look of pure joy and happiness made it all worth it.

It melts my heart into a thousand tiny pieces to see my kids light up like that. Now I'm a firm believer that things do not bring happiness, and I work hard to instill in my kids that they should never put their value and joy and identity into what they have or don't have. But I do believe that if a gift is given in love, there is definitely value and joy in that, both for the giver and the one who receives. I can't help but think about moms around the world who want to express that love to their children through gifts, but for whatever reason, can not. I think every parent should have the joy of watching their kids light up from a well chosen present.


Since moving to my neighborhood, I have had the chance to meet many new, awesome mom friends. For all our various differences and personalities and interests, one common denominator I have seen is that not only do we ferociously love and protect our own kids, but we can greater understand and associate ourselves with the greater community of kids at large. Just a few weeks ago, I witnessed our collective anger towards an establishment in town that treated a child with food allergies so atrociously and heartlessly. She was not our child, but our anger and call to action was no less passionate than if it were our own. Or I think back to a few months ago when some moms in the neighborhood found two children wandering lost on the first day of school. While the rest of us were taking pictures and shedding tears at the playground, these children were walking themselves to school (unsuccessfully) with a garbage bag filled with rag tag supplies. As this story was circulated, we all felt that collective sense of injustice and wanting to help in some way. We all recognized the discrepancy that we have tons of backpacks sitting in our closet unused simply because they were out of fashion, while children in our own vicinity were walking to school with garbage bags. If the school district had not taken the lead in helping those children out, there would have been an army of moms here that would have taken the lead. That is the power of mothers, especially of those I have had the privilege to meet here.


So especially as we move into this holiday season, I want my family to be passionate about providing that chance to see other kids light up with joy. The joy not necessarily from a new toy, but from being valued enough to receive one. Our family will be collecting new toys for a gift mart that our church holds in east aurora and joliet through the elementary schools. Parents there will be able to buy great new toys at a reduced rate of $2. All the profits made at the gift mart go straight back into the elementary school that is hosting it. If any of the moms in my neighborhood would be interested in participating, you can drop off toys to me at any time, or even better, volunteer as a family to help out at the gift mart and see how such a small thing can affect so much change for a community of people. If this isn't the right fit, there are many other worthwhile organizations and opportunities out there to connect with and contribute to. One thing I know, the army of moms is a powerful weapon and I'm glad to be a part of it!