Halloween Musings

So halloween is coming up, and I had these grand visions of my family of six strolling thru my neighborhood in perfectly coordinating group ensembles. I threw out idea after idea about what they could be to accomplish this goal.

Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion! NO!
Mario, Luigi, Toad, Princess Peach! NO!
Ketchup, Mustard, Hot Dog, and French Fries! NO!
Sue Sylvester, Finn, Puck, Artie! (Okay, that was more for me)

As it became painfully apparent that none of my ideas were going to work, my wise husband advised me to simply let them choose what they wanted to be. Sounds easy enough, but I realized that this costume situation represented something so much deeper. It epitomized my daily struggle to love and accept my children as they are, rather than squeezing them into who I think they should be. To walk that balance of guiding their steps without controlling them. To provide boundaries and rules, but within those perimeters, granting them the freedom to make their own choices and preferences, even if they should differ from mine. And when they do differ from mine, to fully support them instead of passive- aggressively implying that I know better. For a control freak like me, this is much easier said than done. But I'm working on being that kind of mom.

So off we went to the store, and each child picked within my perimeters the costume of their choice (no gore....it's asking too much for me to be okay with my kids walking around with an axe in their heads or some weapon of mass destruction in their hands). So this halloween, I will be strolling thru my neighborhood with a banana, 2 ninjas, and a cinderella. No unified theme. No perfectly coordinated ensemble. Just four kids happily wearing what they wanted, which I'm learning makes it pretty perfect to me.