Army of Moms

Yesterday, we took our daughter to the American Girl store. Somehow, we ended up on their mailing list and have been flooded with catalog after catalog every few months for the past year. Sometimes I'm quick enough to toss it into recycling before she notices it, but most times, she clings to those catalogs and points out incessantly which ones she likes. Finally, after months of her puppy dog eyes and (how do I put this) "assertive communication," we gave in and decided to get her the bitty baby. After fighting through weekend traffic and crowds, we made our way there and walked out with the newest member of our family, baby Maggie, who she also nicknamed Shaggy. In spite of all the sacrifices it took to get it for her, the look of pure joy and happiness made it all worth it.

It melts my heart into a thousand tiny pieces to see my kids light up like that. Now I'm a firm believer that things do not bring happiness, and I work hard to instill in my kids that they should never put their value and joy and identity into what they have or don't have. But I do believe that if a gift is given in love, there is definitely value and joy in that, both for the giver and the one who receives. I can't help but think about moms around the world who want to express that love to their children through gifts, but for whatever reason, can not. I think every parent should have the joy of watching their kids light up from a well chosen present.


Since moving to my neighborhood, I have had the chance to meet many new, awesome mom friends. For all our various differences and personalities and interests, one common denominator I have seen is that not only do we ferociously love and protect our own kids, but we can greater understand and associate ourselves with the greater community of kids at large. Just a few weeks ago, I witnessed our collective anger towards an establishment in town that treated a child with food allergies so atrociously and heartlessly. She was not our child, but our anger and call to action was no less passionate than if it were our own. Or I think back to a few months ago when some moms in the neighborhood found two children wandering lost on the first day of school. While the rest of us were taking pictures and shedding tears at the playground, these children were walking themselves to school (unsuccessfully) with a garbage bag filled with rag tag supplies. As this story was circulated, we all felt that collective sense of injustice and wanting to help in some way. We all recognized the discrepancy that we have tons of backpacks sitting in our closet unused simply because they were out of fashion, while children in our own vicinity were walking to school with garbage bags. If the school district had not taken the lead in helping those children out, there would have been an army of moms here that would have taken the lead. That is the power of mothers, especially of those I have had the privilege to meet here.


So especially as we move into this holiday season, I want my family to be passionate about providing that chance to see other kids light up with joy. The joy not necessarily from a new toy, but from being valued enough to receive one. Our family will be collecting new toys for a gift mart that our church holds in east aurora and joliet through the elementary schools. Parents there will be able to buy great new toys at a reduced rate of $2. All the profits made at the gift mart go straight back into the elementary school that is hosting it. If any of the moms in my neighborhood would be interested in participating, you can drop off toys to me at any time, or even better, volunteer as a family to help out at the gift mart and see how such a small thing can affect so much change for a community of people. If this isn't the right fit, there are many other worthwhile organizations and opportunities out there to connect with and contribute to. One thing I know, the army of moms is a powerful weapon and I'm glad to be a part of it!

Halloween Musings

So halloween is coming up, and I had these grand visions of my family of six strolling thru my neighborhood in perfectly coordinating group ensembles. I threw out idea after idea about what they could be to accomplish this goal.

Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion! NO!
Mario, Luigi, Toad, Princess Peach! NO!
Ketchup, Mustard, Hot Dog, and French Fries! NO!
Sue Sylvester, Finn, Puck, Artie! (Okay, that was more for me)

As it became painfully apparent that none of my ideas were going to work, my wise husband advised me to simply let them choose what they wanted to be. Sounds easy enough, but I realized that this costume situation represented something so much deeper. It epitomized my daily struggle to love and accept my children as they are, rather than squeezing them into who I think they should be. To walk that balance of guiding their steps without controlling them. To provide boundaries and rules, but within those perimeters, granting them the freedom to make their own choices and preferences, even if they should differ from mine. And when they do differ from mine, to fully support them instead of passive- aggressively implying that I know better. For a control freak like me, this is much easier said than done. But I'm working on being that kind of mom.

So off we went to the store, and each child picked within my perimeters the costume of their choice (no gore....it's asking too much for me to be okay with my kids walking around with an axe in their heads or some weapon of mass destruction in their hands). So this halloween, I will be strolling thru my neighborhood with a banana, 2 ninjas, and a cinderella. No unified theme. No perfectly coordinated ensemble. Just four kids happily wearing what they wanted, which I'm learning makes it pretty perfect to me.